Tagged with German

Germany- Why can’t we be friends?

Germany- Why can’t we be friends?

There are many things Germany is comfortably better at than other countries; high speed driving, mullets and football among them. Yet, life is not entirely idyllic in the land of chocolate. Despite all of Germany’s success in auto-mobile manufacture and software design, Germany is apparently unfriendly. According to the Internations Expat Insider survey 2016, Germany was ranked 55th out of 67 counties for ease of settling in and 55th in overall friendliness. Despite Germany being ranked higher for job security, political stability, peacefulness, safety and child health, it is surely the accusation of unfriendliness that will be remembered. Continue reading

German Hangover cures – Fighting the Cat

German Hangover cures – Fighting the Cat

It’s too bright, far too bright and for some reason the birds tweeting outside sound like unregulated drum n bass played at maximum volume. You might be able to contend with these two issues, but you have only just realised your mouth has the texture of sandpaper and feels dryer than the Sahara desert. It … Continue reading

Fasching Victim

Looking around, I have difficulty processing exactly what I’m seeing. To the left of me, milling around in a crowd, are what appear to be a large group of pandas. While one lights a cigarette, another expertly opens a bottle of beer with a disposable lighter. On the right, standing quietly, is a clone trooper, … Continue reading

Breakfast at Helmut’s

Breakfast at Helmut’s

As anyone who has seen a Ready-Brek advert can tell you, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Also, according this advert, children are centrally heated by their stomachs. That last part may have been created in the fevered imagination of a marketing exec, but it’s hard to deny the importance of breakfast. … Continue reading

Toy Fairs, Expats and Expense Accounts

Everywhere the Queen visits, as the old adage goes, smells of new paint. Of course this is probably apocryphal. As we all know, lizard monsters from the planet Zarg can’t smell. However, the general truth of the statement still stands, there are people that must believe that the world is solely occupied by well manicured, … Continue reading

Kilts, Night Buses and Bad Decisions

Kilts, Night Buses and Bad Decisions

It’s important in life to make good decisions, but every so often it can be quite refreshing to make stupendously imbecilic ones too. History is littered with people who, for one reason or another, made the most impeccably poor decisions and have managed to advance humanity as a result. Louis Pasture’s slovenly life choices led … Continue reading

Predict-a-thon 2014

Predict-a-thon 2014

2013 is slowly receding into the distance and as we stand forlornly on the a railway platform, waving a hanky, we wipe a single tear from our collective eyes. Oh, 2013, you were such a lovely companion with all your choice tit-bits of news and occasional revelations, we’ll miss you. But wait! Who is this … Continue reading

Feliz Navi Don’t

Feliz Navi Don’t

  Advent arrived last week and in expected fashion, Germany exploded in a kaleidoscope of Christmas markets. The Weihnachtsmarkt period is especially important in my kneck of the woods as one of the largest and most popular, the Nürnberg Christkindlmarkt, opened it’s doors a week ago to an estimated 30,000 onlookers. Sadly, the excitement of … Continue reading

Britain, we really need to talk…

Britain, we really need to talk…

As a youngest of four brothers I learned fairly quickly that life was filled with unwritten rules. Although they were not always easy to understand at first, once you discovered one you didn’t soon forget. This was mainly because learning a new rule, unlike in the moralistic cartoons I watched on Saturday mornings, generally came … Continue reading