Translating Stupid

Translating Stupid

Quite often, as one of the few British people in the office, I’m called upon to explain the all manner of cultural points for my German colleagues. The questions can range from “why all the mint sauce?” to “is it true that you all stop at 15.00 for tea?”. In the past I enjoyed these … Continue reading

Culture Vulture

Culture Vulture

In George Bernard Shaw’s 1912 play Pygmalion, Henry Higgens attempts to pass off a humble cockney flower girl as a Duchess by teaching her perfect diction. The young Eliza Dolittle goes from pauper to aristocrat and succeeds in fooling the establishment at a high society garden party. In many ways, my girlfriend has managed much … Continue reading

A Sunday Odyssey

A Sunday Odyssey

Stepping out of the house, the first thing I noticed was the silence. It hung in the air like a vale of fog, simultaneously vague and conspicuous. Living in the centre of a city has it’s benefits, but silence is rarely one of them. This is especially true when you live so near to a … Continue reading

Fasching Victim

Looking around, I have difficulty processing exactly what I’m seeing. To the left of me, milling around in a crowd, are what appear to be a large group of pandas. While one lights a cigarette, another expertly opens a bottle of beer with a disposable lighter. On the right, standing quietly, is a clone trooper, … Continue reading

Blog Postponed

Blog Postponed

Howdy reader, nicandthegermans will be postponed this week as Nic is currently undergoing maintenance. Although this might spoil your Monday, it was essential that Nic was updated with a new pair of robotic monkey feet. He will be swinging his way back later this week. Nicandthegermans

Breakfast at Helmut’s

Breakfast at Helmut’s

As anyone who has seen a Ready-Brek advert can tell you, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Also, according this advert, children are centrally heated by their stomachs. That last part may have been created in the fevered imagination of a marketing exec, but it’s hard to deny the importance of breakfast. … Continue reading

German News Round-up

Although I endeavour to bring you the most up to date stories about living in Germany, sometimes there isn’t much to tell. For instance, this weekend seemed to revolve around wedding planning and more importantly, wedding invitations. Now, as entertaining as that sounds, I doubt that anyone wants to read about my adventures buying a … Continue reading

Toy Fairs, Expats and Expense Accounts

Everywhere the Queen visits, as the old adage goes, smells of new paint. Of course this is probably apocryphal. As we all know, lizard monsters from the planet Zarg can’t smell. However, the general truth of the statement still stands, there are people that must believe that the world is solely occupied by well manicured, … Continue reading

Kilts, Night Buses and Bad Decisions

Kilts, Night Buses and Bad Decisions

It’s important in life to make good decisions, but every so often it can be quite refreshing to make stupendously imbecilic ones too. History is littered with people who, for one reason or another, made the most impeccably poor decisions and have managed to advance humanity as a result. Louis Pasture’s slovenly life choices led … Continue reading