What can go wrong?

Stress. It’s an aspect of life that we all encounter in various different ways. There is work stress, home stress, stress when shopping or the special kind of stress that creeps up behind you wielding a large bat. To balance these various kinds of stress, we each attempt to deal with it in a different way. Some take up yoga or meditation, others take a long walk and a few decide to vent their frustrations by indulging in the fantasy world of computer games. The latter option is the one I frequently resort to. Hacking up dragons or liberally throwing grenades at wave after wave of enemies certainly can help take the edge off. Yet, recently I have found that it’s not quite helping. I attempted to combine some of these stress reliving activities, but contorting my body in to an unholy shape, while exacting a violent revenge on virtual assailants didn’t prove to be a sensible decision. I now have a slipped disc and a dislocated elbow. Thus I’m at an impasse; how do I solve my stress based problems?


Well to be honest, I haven’t a clue. However, this doesn’t prevent the stress monster from increasing in size at every turn. For instance, I have decided to move house. Great, what’s the worst that can happen? Well, it turns out, everything. So, in order to vent my spleen of all the stresses from the last week, I shall spend this blog shouting into the dark, gaping maw of the interwebs.



It’s 2013, and the future we hoped for hasn’t arrived. We were promised flying cars and robot servants. With each passing day, The Jetsons seem to be more a hollow laugh than a cartoonish look into the future. Although we don’t have flying cars, we do have the luxury of the internet. Well some of us do. After being told our current provider cannot supply our new home with the warm embrace of wireless internet, we were forced to select a new company. How long will that take? Oh, only about a month. That’s interesting, I’m fairly sure they could send out the equipment in a few days, and I could attempt to set it up myself. I’m no computer genius, but I’m sure my mental faculties are up to the task. No, they must send someone out. Great, not only do we have to pay the call out charge, but I also have to suffer the indignity of not being trusted to plug something in, super.


Let’s all have a clean


Saturday is a lovely day. You wake up, realise it’s a day off and role over for an extra hour of well deserved sleep. Not me though. I got to spend my Saturday cleaning up my new flat after what I can only assume was the dirtiest collection of tenants that ever heaved themselves out of a swamp. These marsh-men managed to live in a flat for eight years and never get round to cleaning. Have you ever seen a stain within a stain? No? I have. It was like cleaning up after Jackson Pollock.



photo 2

I went to Ikea again. For more information on my feelings about this tragedy, read this.


Happy people


How dare you be happy, you worthless bag of gristle. Can’t you see I’m going through some kind of pre-midlife crisis? What are you smiling at? There is is no fun to be had here, dammit! I hope, through some terrible series of events, you find yourself set ablaze, while plummeting 30,000 feet into a pile of manure.




Who do they think they are? Standing stoically supplying us with oxygen, occasional shade and general greenery. How dare you, get a real job!




I come to this blog to read interesting, informative and possibly humorous tales of Germany and cultural mishaps. When did it become the rantings of an insane man? You need to get out more, perhaps take up yoga. I hear that it can be quite relaxing. I can’t see how stretching your physical form into the shape of a Q and pretending to be a tree is relaxing, but each to their own I guess. Have you tried computer games?





Phew, I must say I feel better now. Now, where did I put my yoga pants?



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